give up now, feeble competitors! ...
you will never defeat evil headquarters!
about our evil organization
Evil Headquarters ® LLC is a diabolical branding syndicate, helping power-hungry startups to launch quickly, dominate their business category, and take over the wooorrrld! ... Led by our founder, evil genius and super-villain extraordinaire, Dr. Brandon Brandaplenty ... We're leading the way in worldwide chaos, dominating the areas of brand development, marketing and design. Our evil expertise is in building ready-made "WDB's" (World Domination Brands) that can jump-start your evil empire and vanquish all who stand in your way. Muw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Evil Brands ® LLC
Planning to take over the world with your new idea? Want speed to market and need a brandable business name with custom logo and matching domain name, right now? ... Evil Brands® LLC specializes in the creation of highly brandable business names with visual identity, for various different business industries, to help start you on your path to global domination! Choose one of our hand-crafted, ready-made startup brands, to launch your evil empire and crush your competitors into oblivion! Muw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Browse Domains + Logos >
Evil startups ® LLC
Are you an evil genius with a villainous plan to dominate a competitive business category? Looking to exact some sweet, cold retribution and completely decimate your nemesis and quickly become the NEW market leader? ... Yeah ... you’ve got something epic in mind, don't you? ... Something eeevil ... A real game changer. Maybe even a world changer! ... If you’re seriously looking to build a multi-million dollar or even a billion dollar brand, while bringing the market to it's knees with unyielding obedience ... Evil Startups® LLC provides fully-branded startup companies that are ready to go and just waiting for a supreme leader like you to take the helm! Browse Startup Companies >
Evil designs ® LLC
Are you looking to cause a disruption in your market and inform your competitors of their impending doom? Is your nefarious scheme sooo evil ... sooo sinister ... that you need expert custom design? Are your evil plans so big that you need a fully-branded startup company, complete with death rays and rocket launchers and stuff? … Evil Designs® can create a custom, diabolical super-brand, to jump-start your evil empire and help you take over the wooorrrld! Muw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
If you've browsed through our portfolio, but didn’t see a ready-to-go startup brand that was the right fit for your new business idea ... Or maybe you already have a company and need a rebrand solution ... Evil Designs® can start from scratch and build you a new fully-branded company, help you rebrand your existing company or even turn your current brand into a competition-crushing "WDB" (World Domination Brand). Contact Headquarters >
Submit now, or face annihilation
at the hands of my evil robot army!
meet the villains ...
dr. brandon brandaplenty
( Chief Evil Officer )
Evil genius and super-villain extraordinaire, Dr. Brandon Brandaplenty, is the malevolent monarch of Evil Headquarters®. His maniacal plan is to take over the world by launching a horde of evil startup brands into every sector of the business industry, and then controlling the global markets to make $100 Ka-Gillion dollars.
( Evil Assistant )
Galina, also known as “Gi Gi Gottabody” is the sexy russian assistant and right hand of Dr. Brandaplenty. She’s extremely loyal and helps him in every way, to carry out his villainous plans for world domination. Ms. Gottabody clings to Dr. Brandaplenty out of her attraction for intelligence and bald heads and evilry. She constantly makes her affections known, but Dr. Brandaplenty is too busy taking over the world.
( Super Robot Henchman )
R2-Evil is a highly intelligent super robot, built by Dr. Brandaplenty at his secret island laboratory. He’s Dr. Brandaplenty’s personal bodyguard and robot henchman, capable of lifting tall buildings, flying at hyper speed, morphing into various weapons of destruction and kidnapping kittens for ransom … Pretty much anything needed to decimate a do-gooder that tries to stand in the doctor’s way.
There's an R1 version, but they're not smart like R2-Evil. The R1's were built without artificial intelligence. They aren't good at carrying out more convoluted plans, but they are good at destroying things, so Dr. Brandaplenty produced 1 million units of the R1 and created an evil robot army for use in his plans for world domination. He keeps them in a launch chamber at Evil Headquarters® as leverage and threatens to release them when people get in his way.
Should you join forces with Evil?
Being a professional super-villain and building a worldwide evil organization is not as easy as it looks. To be honest ... it's really a pain in the ass! It's hard work. And most people are lazy and easily distracted. So ... are you one of those people who "thinks" they're an evil genius entrepreneur, chasing shiny toys and trying to cheaply launch a hundred different businesses, hoping that one of them makes a ga-zillion dollars? ... If so, then we're not a good fit and super villainy is definitely not for you.
Our brands are created for a very small percentage of extraordinary entrepreneurs, who truly want to build a company of undeniable power, in order to dominate their chosen business category and become the market leader. Entrepreneurs who have a singular focus in one particular industry, and have the financial and human resources, as well as the determination and long-term vision, with serious plans, to build a multi-million or multi-billion dollar brand!
For example ... is your evil plan to launch a mobile gaming company that cleverly forces hundreds of millions of people to download your game and then play it non-stop, like mindless zombies, and use awesome gameplay with gorgeous mesmerizing graphics as mind control, to carelessly make users spend over $3 million dollars per day on in-app purchases, which inevitably causes you to take over the app store and claim the number one top grossing spot, for the next 5 to 10 years, while taking your company public and becoming worth $500 Ka-Gillion dollars? ... Hmmm ...
If this sounds like you ... then you're an individual or team that should understand the value of the assets and services we offer, and inevitably join forces with Evil Headquarters ® ... Muw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
achieve world domination!
our diabolical capabilities ...
Product Design & Development
Business Model Creation
Research & Analytics
Company & Product Literature
Website Design & Development
Also ... Innovation, Crazy Ideas, Evil Plan Assistance, Competition Annihilation and Minion Referral Service!